Is this what I have always wanted? Idk.

I'm happy right now. So happy. Bcs it seems real and far more serious to be compared with the past. I open up every feelings, I don't hesitates to tell anymore. I want them to feel my love instead of hiding it. But is that a good thing? I'm just afraid people would take advantage.

But nowadays I find myself being very typical girl friends. Sulking over small matter, get jealous over nothing, being very mengada bcs I want more attention, and have to keep in touch everyday.

(this applies only for someone, I don't act like this with everyone, note that.)

Back then, I'm just too lazy to sulk. I was more to, "do whatever you want."  I didn't get jealous if its not excessive. Like, hanging out with girl friends or what so ever, I don't mind that. I am mengada from the beginning but it was just to be annoying, not to get attention from him. I used to be okay if we didn't contact each other every day. The longest I can accept was 4 days? I can't bear a week lol. But now I just have to keep in touch everyday. Its a must. You don't approach me? Its okay, I'll approach you.

You see.
My mindset is changing.
My ego is washing away.

Now its like, I'm chasing after someone. Not people chasing after me.

And that sounds freaking weird.