Saturday, August 6, 2016 • Saturday, August 06, 2016 • 0 comments
Less than a month to start a new semester.... Gosh, time, fly slower please. I still don't feel like studying again. Hahaha I'm a lazy ass. But I just hope I won't be as lazy as I was in the previous sem. I mean like, I only study hard during the study week. Like legit. Masa test & quiz pun I took them easily, sebab tu carry mark rendah namampus lol. I do feel like studying but my body didn't want to cooperate. When I force myself to sit on table, I yawn endlessly. Bukak je youtube, segar balik mata. Yeah I know I study pathetically but wtv.
So I kind of have a new semester resolution. Oh yall know, like not study last minute kind of thing yada yada but thats not mine though. I would only like to be this one thing; not overly attached to anyone. Let me list out the reason. 1, I felt like when I'm too attached, I would be a burden to that someone. Yknow, going places with that somebody, when they do things that isn't up to my liking I'd get sad or when I ain't invited to any outing. So its a burden for that someone to care for my feelings. Afterall they r my feelings, I should take responsibility, not them.
2, when I'm attached, I do it for real. Its kind of too much if I ask that somebody to accept my attachment when I don't really know if they want it or not. You know, their freedom are somehow limited bcs of it. So yeah, I better take safety measures & avoid it. Once I did it, its hard to turn back. But right now, I'm trying hard to hold myself back.
3, I get hurt. When I get attached, my expectation towards that somebody go high. I could be fine at times when I feel neglected, but in my sensitive times it almost feel like they can't be forgiven. The sad feels doesn't last long, but if it hurts too much even just for a while, it'll be a remarkable one for me. I'm not precisely sad anymore but its something that's known in malay as "tawar hati." Though I'm not sure if it is tawar hati or I'm simply complicated.
4, right at the end of the upper paragraph. Complicated. Idek what I want, or even if I know I just couldn't bring myself to say it unless forced cuz I think my stand isn't important for anyone to listen or to follow, but yet I expect people to understand me. Tbh, I don't want to be a part of these complicated society. I would love to have a simple mind, where new problems aren't created for such unreasonable small things.
And now you know why I wonder there are people who still want to be my friend, at the very least. Yeap, I got lucky.
Saturday, August 6, 2016 • Saturday, August 06, 2016 • 0 comments
Less than a month to start a new semester.... Gosh, time, fly slower please. I still don't feel like studying again. Hahaha I'm a lazy ass. But I just hope I won't be as lazy as I was in the previous sem. I mean like, I only study hard during the study week. Like legit. Masa test & quiz pun I took them easily, sebab tu carry mark rendah namampus lol. I do feel like studying but my body didn't want to cooperate. When I force myself to sit on table, I yawn endlessly. Bukak je youtube, segar balik mata. Yeah I know I study pathetically but wtv.
So I kind of have a new semester resolution. Oh yall know, like not study last minute kind of thing yada yada but thats not mine though. I would only like to be this one thing; not overly attached to anyone. Let me list out the reason. 1, I felt like when I'm too attached, I would be a burden to that someone. Yknow, going places with that somebody, when they do things that isn't up to my liking I'd get sad or when I ain't invited to any outing. So its a burden for that someone to care for my feelings. Afterall they r my feelings, I should take responsibility, not them.
2, when I'm attached, I do it for real. Its kind of too much if I ask that somebody to accept my attachment when I don't really know if they want it or not. You know, their freedom are somehow limited bcs of it. So yeah, I better take safety measures & avoid it. Once I did it, its hard to turn back. But right now, I'm trying hard to hold myself back.
3, I get hurt. When I get attached, my expectation towards that somebody go high. I could be fine at times when I feel neglected, but in my sensitive times it almost feel like they can't be forgiven. The sad feels doesn't last long, but if it hurts too much even just for a while, it'll be a remarkable one for me. I'm not precisely sad anymore but its something that's known in malay as "tawar hati." Though I'm not sure if it is tawar hati or I'm simply complicated.
4, right at the end of the upper paragraph. Complicated. Idek what I want, or even if I know I just couldn't bring myself to say it unless forced cuz I think my stand isn't important for anyone to listen or to follow, but yet I expect people to understand me. Tbh, I don't want to be a part of these complicated society. I would love to have a simple mind, where new problems aren't created for such unreasonable small things.
And now you know why I wonder there are people who still want to be my friend, at the very least. Yeap, I got lucky.
(;
xoxo, The Shining Star
Attachment.
Saturday, August 6, 2016 | Saturday, August 06, 2016 | 0 comments
Less than a month to start a new semester.... Gosh, time, fly slower please. I still don't feel like studying again. Hahaha I'm a lazy ass. But I just hope I won't be as lazy as I was in the previous sem. I mean like, I only study hard during the study week. Like legit. Masa test & quiz pun I took them easily, sebab tu carry mark rendah namampus lol. I do feel like studying but my body didn't want to cooperate. When I force myself to sit on table, I yawn endlessly. Bukak je youtube, segar balik mata. Yeah I know I study pathetically but wtv.
So I kind of have a new semester resolution. Oh yall know, like not study last minute kind of thing yada yada but thats not mine though. I would only like to be this one thing; not overly attached to anyone. Let me list out the reason. 1, I felt like when I'm too attached, I would be a burden to that someone. Yknow, going places with that somebody, when they do things that isn't up to my liking I'd get sad or when I ain't invited to any outing. So its a burden for that someone to care for my feelings. Afterall they r my feelings, I should take responsibility, not them.
2, when I'm attached, I do it for real. Its kind of too much if I ask that somebody to accept my attachment when I don't really know if they want it or not. You know, their freedom are somehow limited bcs of it. So yeah, I better take safety measures & avoid it. Once I did it, its hard to turn back. But right now, I'm trying hard to hold myself back.
3, I get hurt. When I get attached, my expectation towards that somebody go high. I could be fine at times when I feel neglected, but in my sensitive times it almost feel like they can't be forgiven. The sad feels doesn't last long, but if it hurts too much even just for a while, it'll be a remarkable one for me. I'm not precisely sad anymore but its something that's known in malay as "tawar hati." Though I'm not sure if it is tawar hati or I'm simply complicated.
4, right at the end of the upper paragraph. Complicated. Idek what I want, or even if I know I just couldn't bring myself to say it unless forced cuz I think my stand isn't important for anyone to listen or to follow, but yet I expect people to understand me. Tbh, I don't want to be a part of these complicated society. I would love to have a simple mind, where new problems aren't created for such unreasonable small things.
And now you know why I wonder there are people who still want to be my friend, at the very least. Yeap, I got lucky.
