I'm sorry. Malam ni, lost. Lost in my own thoughts, words of heart, feelings, doubts.. Why is it always like this? Next day when I wake up, pretty sure I'll be back to normal. But then few weeks & months passed by, bam. There I go again. Another pathetic night appears. Leaving me in darkness, making me all gloomy suddenly. Haish. I don't really understand what do I actually want. I lost that. Yes, I think I lost that ability. To acknowledge what is wrong with myself. No don't tell me you know why am I being like this, bcs if I myself isn't so sure, then you can't be any more understanding about me than I am. Sound so ego? True that. I am ego. If you're not closed enough with me, don't do that psycho thing. Cuz it'll just end up with me hating you. & it grows of you do it frequently. I have so many things thats not up to my liking, its just that I don't say it. If I do, most of my close friends would probably hate me & thinks I'm an egoistic selfish freak.

I want to spend my life with people who's worth my brain's memory. Worth my laughter (tho I laugh everytime). Worth my time. Unfortunately, sigh.

Who can replace ziq anyway? No one. She's like my forever girlfriend. I can't stand seeing her with another friends, or even with her boyfriend, whatmore that I'm not there with her. I get jealous, most of the time. But rationally, she's a grown up girl & I can't tell her not to hang out without me. She deserve a wonderful life. Gashhhh am I talking about my boyfriend here?!?! Hahaha sorry! I just love her way too much! <3

Okay. Bye.