My heart is not at peace. I've tried many ways that I haven't tried before so that I could at least forget half, if it can't be fully. I've started to jog around the track (since I just started so I'm only capable of doing 2 laps without stopping, which is equivalent to 800m), I read ayatul Quran everyday after asar, maghrib and also isya' (it does work, but temporarily), I tried so hard to think positive and not to feel anything anymore. So hard, like whenever I heard his name I'd just go, "blurgh" or when I saw him, I turn the other way around & wouldn't even look at him. But that doesn't change the tingling feels I kept inside. Maybe it did change, just a lil bit. Cuz I realized, now, everytime I meet him, I won't be as excited as I was before. Tho that doesn't mean much. But it does, to me.

One way that I'm trying to try is that, I constantly remind myself how he had gave me so many hopes, by not using harsh words, by giving me a long sleeve shirt, by allowing me to talk to his mom, by showing my pictures to his mom also, and by saying that I'm already pretty enough. He's bad, he make my hopes go high and crushed it into pieces like all those bloody things are nothing.

You know, if you already know that I like you and you don't like me, don't treat me like that. Any girl in the world would've misinterpret your true intention, you got me? Good thing I only have the mutual feeling, liking you, not into deeper phase, yet. If not, I would be in completely lost state right now. Uugh. This is so annoying.