Since I'm at batu pahat, and I didn't bring my diary, I'll have to make a post here.. Hm yeap I just cant stand all of these thing anymore.

You just dont know how much I miss you. Its been 5 days, for god sake. I dont know if things that happened between us is my fault or yours. I dont think its mine, and I don't think its yours. You were just pointing out your opinion. Yes.. But whatever it is, I think we can't be fix. You with your ex.. yeap. You know what I'm talkin' about.. I wish the best for both of you. I know she's way better. She makes you happy more than I do. I always know that you love her more than me. You seems so happy without my existence, that what freaks me out. The way you talk to her, as if I never existed, in your life. Not even a bit of me, azyan irsalina, affected your life, and heart. You just forget everything when you talk to her. Guess I'm just, a toy, to you.. You said she was your last that stays in your heart, while you are my last.. I really broke into pieces. Why can't my heart change quickly like yours? And I wonder why it ache so bad, that I feel like killing myself. I know, its stupid, and plus I'm a muslim, but I can't help it. Cus everytime I force myself to be happy all day long not to think about you, I failed, each time. I need a break lah, seriously. Stop haunting me.. I'm scared I might lose my mind and. You don't want to know.

I'm not asking for sympathy. I sincerely wish the best for you. I never leave out your full name in my du'a. You're always there. But I'm just mad at myself.... for not being able to forget you quickly like what you did. And pls, I'm not blaming anyone. If there is, its me who should be blame.

Not expecting him to read this. Again, I posted this here because I don't have my diary. In need of my diary, asap. Couldn't keep & bear it any longer. Hm, I'm fucked up.

Goodbye lah everyone. I'm so pathetic.